Welcome Home

Ted and his platoon made it back to Grafenwoehr around 0130 this morning. All the wives and the rest of the company were so glad to see them back! I'm a little tired today, considering we didn't the bags upstairs until about 3am, but he's going strong, like the energizer bunny. I'm sure it's good to be around all his things, and it's definitely good to have him back in the house! Here's a few pictures from the Homecoming Ceremony last night:


The Countdown clock: Ten seconds until they start marching in the door!

My man in front of his platoon (and there's me, front and center, ready to pounce on him).

Celeb Fridge

Every month in Every Day with Rachael Ray, the very last page of the magazine has an article called "Celeb Fridge." It's probably my favorite part of the whole magazine. I can't explain it. I stare intently at the picture trying to decipher how much of that crap they did just for the picture. Nobody really keeps decorative bowls of uncovered food in their fridge...do they? Anyway, I decided to do my own Celeb Fridge, just for you.
Note: Do not enlarge the picture. If it's dirty in there, I don't want you to know about it.

Hey, Ashley! Your fridge looks way too neat. Did you arrange it perfectly just for your readers?

Yes. It was tough. Everything is in alphabetical order by food group.
Just kidding.

What's your favorite thing in the fridge right now?

Honey roasted turkey and string cheese!

What's that in the bottom left drawer?

I have no idea. I think that's where I used to keep taco stuff. It's a safe bet that the drawer hasn't been opened since January. Thanks for asking.

Don't you ever cook?

No.

Why didn't we get to look in your freezer?

We all know what hot pockets look like.

What does anyone do with one slice of Kraft American Cheese?

Nothing. That's why it's still in there.

Are there any go-to ingredients you always keep around?

Yes- milk, eggs, butter, BBQ sauce, and cold water. Those are the only things guaranteed to be in my fridge at any given moment.

Is there anything else you'd like to say about your fridge?

Someday I will have one with an automatic ice maker. Until then...no ice for me. Or any of you that visit. I don't believe in ice cube trays. And Germans don't believe in icy drinks. All's well that ends well.

This concludes this month's edition of Celeb Fridge. Questions, comments, concerns, and suggestions may be submitted to the author.

And don't worry. I won't do this every month.

Not Me! Mondays....

Several ladies out there in the blogosphere have been doing Not Me! Mondays (started by MckMama...http://mycharmingkids.net/). The point is to share silly or embarrassing things you've done recently but add "Not Me" in the sentence. For example: "This past week I did not run smack into the automatic door because I was walking way faster than it was opening...." I find reading them quite hilarious. Some of them, anyway.

I don't have anything much to write about, so I thought I would participate. It being Monday, and all. Here goes:

Earlier today, I most certainly did not march myself straight to the Nah and Gut to buy three bags of.....

Oh forget it. Who wrote a blog today?

Not me.

My favorite part of running....

I recently read an article about a beginning runner who, after fifteen months of running, had a break-through. Suddenly he was running and it didn't even FEEL like he was running....gone was the shortness of breath, the pain in the calves, the being-chased-by-a-bear heavy breathing....he had found a rhythm....and actually, finally, enjoyed running.

Even though I've been forced to run for over five years now, I still consider myself a beginner. I very rarely find myself enjoying my runs. I try desperately to think of other things besides the sweat in my eyes, the people at the beer garden on a Friday night who are laughing at the loser running by, the shoe that's not tied quite tight enough for my liking but if I stop to fix it I will walk the whole rest of the way so I can't, the Rolaids I would've paid one hundred dollars for if someone had offered them from a street corner as I passed....you get the idea.

So tonight I found myself in a position of absolutely, positively needing to run. I'll spare you the gory details, but it involved watermelon and gummy bears.....lots of it. My intentions with the watermelon were good- I read a recipe for a watermelon feta salad....but somehow the feta and salad part got tossed aside in the heat of the moment and were replaced by....gummy bears. 2-3 hours later, when I finally managed to get myself in a standing position with shoes on, I decided to ponder on what my favorite part of running might be.

I jogged down the street, happy to have something to think (and later blog?) about.

My iPod blared out "Open Arms" by Journey. Next. "Baby Blue" by George Strait. Next. "If You're Reading This by Tim McGraw. NEXT. Sunday Morning Coming Down, by Johnny Cash. What the.... That'll teach my to head out without a playlist. While I will not run without it, music is not my favorite part about running.

I came to a downhill slope....and for a brief second I almost smiled....DOWNHILL! This could be a favorite! Only then my knee started to hurt and I started to run bowlegged. Scratch that idea.

I've heard women talk about how cute clothes motivate them to go to the gym. So I tested that theory for a few steps in front of a storefront window. I tell you what, running can make the cutest clothes look awful. Something is always riding up, or lifting up, or rubbing wrong... Nope, clothes are not my favorite part of running. In fact, if one little thing feels remotely off I will immediately stop running and walk all the way home. Yeah, I am that dedicated.

What else is there? There's sweating.. Sunburn. Spit (or is that just me?). Sore legs. Side stitches. Shakes, rattles, and rolls. Talking myself through it. Out loud. Breathing. Not breathing and wondering if I'm doing my body more harm than good with this whole running thing.

I kept thinking about what I might like about running all the way home (trust me, I had plenty of time). When I finally got there, I found it:


My favorite part of running: Lying down in front of the fan and knowing I did it. I'm done. At least until tomorrow.

Oh, deer.

My father-in-law, Tony, has a problem. Every year, the deer ravage his sweetcorn as if he personally planted each stalk for their benefit. Well, this year, Tony decided to step up his game:

Meet the Corn Fence of 2010. Bigger, better....electric. Eat that, deer.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond, I've come up with my own ingenious way to keep the deer out of the corn....





Tony, you're going to be soooo jealous that you didn't think of this first.







Yeah....that's right. And it tastes just as good, too (keep saying it...it will become truth....keepsayingit).


.........Too corny?? ahahahahahahaha.

1742

As long as I can remember, I've had an internal alarm clock that wakes me up a minute or two before my alarm goes off. Well, this morning either I had something important to do at 4:33 in the morning or the system is broken. So I closed my eyes to the glaring SUNSHINE (yes, Germany has about four and a half hours of total darkness right now) and went back to sleep. The next time my "alarm" woke me up, it was ten in the morning! That is so not like me. I guess it's because I've been staying up half the night. The same thing happened to me after my work trip to Houston in February- I turned into a night owl for a couple weeks. I'm not even sure what I do between the hours of 10pm and 2am. Mainly I sit around and scratch feverishly at my poison ivy. Last night I wrapped my legs in Ace bandages to keep from scratching myself to the point of bleeding. That lasted about five minutes. So I tried to put one of Ted's socks over it (sorry honey). I was able to fall asleep that way, but this morning the sock was on the floor next to my bed and there was dried blood on my leg. Oh well, I tried. The good news is, the poison ivy is healing. Luckily, it never got even close to being as bad as my mom's. Someone should tell her to quit growing that stuff in the flower garden. ;)

Back to my day. I woke up at ten, and I can't even remember what I did all day. I do know I went for a run, and that was a major feat today. So anyway, since I'm lacking the details and you don't want to hear them anyway, let's fast-forward a bit. I decided I needed to go to town for some groceries, and I pulled up to the gate and handed the man my ID card. I tried to say hello, but all that came out was a croak. I suddenly went into panic mode. Is this the first time I've used my voice all day?!?!
I looked at the clock in the car. 1742 (5:42pm). I spent the rest of the drive to town replaying my day through my head, trying to decide if it was really possible that I hadn't made a single sound all day long. I didn't have the radio on, so no singing out loud to the radio... Speaking of which, Alison, can you please tell The Hawk that I am deeply perturbed that they cut my ability to listen live sometime within the last month?! Anyway, I pulled into the grocery store, managed to park my car without running over ANY pedestrians, despite being out-of-sorts, and grabbed my phone. The phone! That's it!! Someone called me around 2:30, and I answered! Hallelujah. All was right in the world once again.

Except with my washing machine. Something is definitely not right with that. Somebody please tell me how to get rid of that awful smell in the drum or I'm never doing laundry again. In which case, the washer won't be the only thing with an awful smell.

Time is now 2054 (8:54 PM). I need to start my new bedtime ritual. Hot bath (actually cold bath, or lukewarm at best- does that negate the sleepy side-effects?), lavender lotion, warm milk (I hope that's not the key to success, because I really won't be having anything to do with warm milk), clean sheets, prescription poison ivy cream, boring DVD(s?)....if I start now, maybe I'll be asleep by 1 AM tonight. Sweet dreams!

Mirror, Mirror on the...coffee table?

We don't have a bedroom set. We don't have a fancy dining room set or even end tables. I'll tell you one thing, though. Upon our return to the states, the very first piece of furniture I'm going to shop for is going to be a vanity set. I simply cannot put on my makeup or even do my hair while standing. Or without a fan blowing directly on me. Or without snacks within arm's reach, apparently. Or without a TV. Preferably one that has TLC and News Channel 8.

I'm not high maintenance. Really.

Oh, and if you've ever wondered what albino eyelashes look like (it's a rare and delicate thing, I know)...just click on this picture.

Maybe she's born with it....maybe it's Maybelline. 100% of the time. People like me keep the mascara manufacturers in big business.

I've come to the conclusion that I will have blonde hair forever- at least until it turns white to match my eyelashes. Surely God must already know that BROWN eyelashes go with brown hair. Surely.

Anywaaaayy.... the microwave just dinged. My gourmet hot pockets are ready.