Little Red Buttons (Written by Ted)

My mom's been saying for years that I would get us blown up by pushing buttons. Today I thought I'd proven her right.

So there I was inside the cab of a humvee. We had just gotten this one from another FOB, and it had some equipment on it we'd never used before. Mostly counter-IED stuff, electronic doo-dads. Most of them had been disabled or removed before we got it. But there was this curious looking control box sitting up front.

My supply sergeant was picking at it, and asked me for my multi-tool. The control box had two red buttons on it, both of which were tied down with wire. There was a green light on the box that was lit up, says "AFES ON". I have no idea what AFES is, but thats okay. We were thinking that whatever AFES was, it might drain the batteries. Thought it might be a counter IED device of some kind. "CREW" is the acronym for these devices. CREW devices on? That has to be draining the batteries. I didn't bother to read any further.

So, i cut the wire off the buttons. I flipped the red button up, and hit the switch underneath.

Bad idea.

What happened next is a bit of a blur. Turns out AFES is some kind of system that puts out a fire in the vehicle. And this case, CREW means it puts out a fire in the crew compartment. Explosively.

As soon as I hit the switch, I thought the freaking humvee exploded. It damn near knocked me down, and my ear was ringing like nothing I've ever experienced. First thing I did was feel if my right eye was still there. Because for a second I thought it wasn't. For a good 30 seconds, I was pretty much in shock. After I went and washed the dust and powder off my face, I came back to check things out.

Meanwhile, SGT Cooper (the supply guy) is in a state of total panic. Our maintenance guy assumed that it was a battery in the humvee that exploded. He came running out of his offfice yelling "LITHIUM!", thinking it was a lithium battery. This sends SGT Cooper into an even deeper panic. He goes running for one of our trailblazers, and tears out of the motorpool to the clinic.

He told them a battery exploded on him, and they made him take a shower. If he'd waitied another 5 minutes, he would have realized that it wasn't that serious.

But for a second, I was pretty sure that pushing the little red button had caused my own death. Or at least blindness.

Just thought I'd share.